Don’t Follow Me: Diamond In The Rough 4 Read online

  I’d never get used to him calling me that.

  “You know, that title is usually designated for--”

  He waved his hand in the air. “Yeah, I know. You always remind me. Best friends are reserved for those who have known each other the longest. But not this time. I consider you a very good friend. A best friend. Because you’re awesome, and I like you, and you fit in with our group, and you make Rae happy, and I don’t mind shooting the shit with you.”

  I grinned. “Thanks.”

  “So time to shoot the shit since we’re stuck in traffic.”

  My grin fell. “No, thanks.”

  “Dude, come on. It’s painfully obvious you haven’t made a decision yet. Why not?”

  “Why the fuck is it so hot in your car right now? Fucking hell.”

  “The air conditioning in my car gave out yesterday. Got an appointment for tomorrow to get it fixed.”

  “Couldn't have told me that before we decided to get trapped in your black box of sweltering heat?”

  He chuckled. “Nice try at a diversion. But it’s not working.”

  I scoffed. “Yeah, just like your A.C. Fuck!”

  I stuck my head out the window. And to my shock, it was cooler outside with the sun burning the top of my head than it was inside his car. His leather seats made my skin stick to the fabric. I breathed in deeply as sweat dripped down my face. And since my head was out the window, I tried to see what the fuck the hold-up was.

  Then my phone vibrated in my board shorts’ pocket.

  “That Rae?” Mike asked.

  I sat down. “Probably.”

  “What does she want?”

  I pulled my phone out and looked at the text.

  Rae: You guys close? Pretty sure I pissed Allison off with more college talk.

  I sighed as my fingers flew over the screen.

  Me: At least you’ve made a decision. Mike’s about to wind up and knock it out of the park with how bullshit it is that I haven’t made a decision yet.

  I sent the message off and promptly got one back.

  Rae: I mean, it would be nice for you to make one. You know, so I know how to declare my housing. Which I have to submit by the end of next week. Just letting you know.

  I rolled my eyes and put my phone away. But I felt Mike’s eyes on me. I jammed myself against the door, hanging my arm out as Aerosmith came on over the radio. I reached over and turned it up, trying to drown out his eyes with music. I bobbed my head and murmured the words. Thanking my fucking stars that traffic was slowly starting to move. For two whole blocks.

  Until it stopped again.

  “Fucking hell!” I exclaimed.

  Mike snickered. “Maybe if you talk about your game plan for August, the traffic will pick up as a reward for your service.”

  I sighed. “You’re not going to stop riding me about this, are you?”

  “Not at all.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Fine. What do you want to know?”

  “Have you figured out what you’re going to do?”

  “You’ll have to be a bit more specific with that request.”

  “Okay. Did you apply to college? Or are you still sticking with the whole ‘no college’ deal?”

  I sighed. “No. I didn’t apply to college. School isn’t for me. Not even some pointless two-year school.”

  “Good. Off to a nice start. So, are you staying with Cecilia? Or moving closer to Rae?”

  “I’m… not sure on that yet.”

  “Which is fine. You got choices to talk through?”

  I snickered. “Sure. I’ve got choices. I’ve always got choices. I can choose to stay with Cecilia in the apartment. Or I can move out and live in some downtown studio apartment close to Rae’s school and hopefully convince her to move in with me. You know, if she doesn’t already get a place of her own.”

  “Has she been talking about that?”

  “She’s been talking about everything. Mostly, how her former plans have gone to shit and what she’s supposed to do now. She hates the idea of a dorm room. But apartments by herself are too expensive. She’s all but said she wants to live with me.”

  “But…?”

  I shrugged. “But I don't know.”

  “Why don’t you know?”

  “I just don’t know, Mike. All right?”

  My eyes fell out the window and I sighed. Finding a job around here hadn’t been nearly as easy as I’d figured it would be. Even with setting aside as much as I could to help Cecilia pay for bills and shit, I was running through money fast. Between treating Rae to some things and my father making this damn divorce as hard as possible, I was tearing through money.

  And as of yesterday, I’d run out of things to sell.

  “Taking Rae out of the picture for a second. What do you want?” Mike asked.

  I sighed. “My own life.”

  “Okay. Good start. What does your own life include?”

  “A job I don’t hate. A studio apartment over a bakery or some shit in downtown L.A. I fucking love downtown L.A.”

  “Well, that’s close to Rae’s school. Maybe the two of you could swing a place together.”

  “Yeah, well. She’s making it seem like she can’t swing something like that until she’s got more money in the bank. Which is so weird to me, because I thought she was selling shit off, too.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You know, that stuff my stepmom gave her? Back when Cecilia and I first moved? Rae told me she was giving some of it away, keeping a few things for herself, and then selling off the rest to really cushion this transition and do what she wanted. Now, she’s talking about not having money at all. And every time I ask her about it, she doesn’t fucking say anything. I feel like she’s lying to me. Or hiding something.”

  “Is that why you haven’t made a decision yet?”

  I shrugged. “The fuck am I supposed to do? I lived with a man who forced me to walk on eggshells my entire life. And now I’m doing it with my own fucking girlfriend. I won’t go back to living like that, man.”

  “Have you told her any of this?”

  I snickered. “You want to try telling me how to tell Rae that she’s lying to me and I don’t appreciate it because she’s making me miserable?”

  “If it were the other way around, I’d tell her to speak with you immediately. So…”

  “Yeah, yeah. I hear you.”

  My eyes drifted out the window as traffic picked up again.

  “Can I be real with you for a second, Clint?”

  “Please. I’d appreciate it.”

  “Downtown L.A. is expensive as hell. You’re going to need a decent sum of money just to make it through a year.”

  I nodded. “I know. I’ve already run the budget. For six months, by myself, in a studio apartment where I’d like, with bills and groceries and shit, I’d need just shy of forty grand. And that’s without a car, just walking everywhere.”

  “Exactly. Which means, splitting that down the middle, that’s still forty grand for each of you during the year.”

  “So what are you saying?”

  I looked over at Mike and watched him shrug.

  “I’m saying that being together means compromising. You can have an ideal life, sure. Then, you have to come together with your partner and figure out a compromise that works for both of you. Both with money and with school.”

  I paused. “And you think I don’t know that?”

  He scoffed. “Says the guy who hasn’t told Rae he’s miserable yet.”

  “I’m not miserable.”

  “That was the word you used.”

  “Well, I didn’t fucking mean miserable.”

  “Might want to choose your words better when you talk with her, then.”

  “Dude, this is why I didn’t want to have this conversation. Get off my nutsack.”

  “You get off it first.”

  I sighed as I leaned heavily into the seat. Sweat dripped down my back and I merely accepted my fate. I’d boil to death in this car before we got to the fucking boardwalk. Since when did things get so complicated? Since when did money drain this quickly? Holy fuck, I’d need a serious job if I wanted to keep living my life around this area. Especially around Cal State. Where Rae had decided to attend college for four. Fucking. Years.

  Shit.

  “What kind of jobs have you been looking for?”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  Mike paused. “No, what?”

  “No, I’m not talking anymore with you.”

  “Oh, come on. We’ve moved on from Rae.”

  “And I’m done talking.”

  “Just answer the damn question. What kind of jobs?”

  “All kinds of jobs, Mike! Mechanic, part time cashier, a fucking sub sandwich maker. Gas station attendant. Construction. Internships. Fucking internships, dude! And no one gives me anything. No callbacks, other than people telling me We’ve found our candidate, thank you for fucking applying.”

  “Do they say ‘fucking’ or…?”

  I growled. “I’m going to slit your throat.”

  He chuckled. “Hopefully you don’t list that as a skill.”

  I reached over and tried to fist his shirt, but he caught my wrist. He tossed my hand back into my lap before shooting me a look. Traffic slowly rolled down the block. Inching us closer to the boardwalk before we came to yet another standstill.

  Then Mike put his car in park again.

  “You can be pissed all you want, Clint. But we both know the only reason you’re this angry is because Rae doesn’t have her shit together, so you can’t. And you won’t get your shit together until you talk to her. Until you have a firm foundation with her again. Or at least a firm enough foundation to tell her whether or not you actua
lly want to follow her to college or strike out on your own again.”

  I shrugged. “I mean, her college is only an hour away. And that’s with traffic.”

  “Yeah, well. Look at this traffic. We were fifteen minutes away from the boardwalk. And we’ve been sitting in this damn car for forty-five.”

  Point taken. “I mean, if we really wanted to--”

  “Dude, quit being a pussy.”

  “I’m not being a pussy.”

  “Yes, you are. You don’t want to piss Rae off so close to all of us splitting, so you’re hoping that if you ignore it the issue is going to go away. But you know that isn’t how it works.”

  I sighed. “Yeah. I know.”

  “So boss up and bring up the conversation. You don’t have to do it today. But you need to do it soon. Rae needs a firm plan of action on your end in order to work through what she’s going to do on her end.”

  “And what if I need the same from her?”

  “That’s why you sit down and fucking talk about it, dude.”

  He sat back down in his seat as the song on the radio changed over again. As some Van Halen ballad filled the SUV, I let my eyes fall closed. While most of me was thankful I didn’t have to put up with school anymore, part of me was disappointed. Even if, by some miracle, I wanted to go to school, I didn’t have the option. Decisions I made in high school ruined my odds for that sort of thing. And Rae hadn’t been happy with me when I decided not to apply.

  In fact, it sparked a fight between us we still hadn’t recovered from.

  And that damn fight was four months ago.

  My best bet at this point was to find a job with room for growth. With room for me to pull a decent-enough salary that helped support a lifestyle in this expensive-ass state. Otherwise, I’d fall behind. I’d forever be destined to scrape by with nothing but scraps underneath the table for hard labor twelve hours a day. Which was a life I didn’t want for myself. I wanted to prosper. I wanted to be proud of myself. I wanted to be able to provide Rae with what she needed instead of her constantly worrying about things and checking her bank account and hiding things from me like she’d been these past few weeks.

  I felt like I was on the verge of losing her. Losing Rae. Losing the love of my life.

  And I had to find a lifestyle that made sure that didn’t happen.

  3

  Raelynn

  I looked beyond Allison’s shoulder after much too long of a silence. And when I saw Clint emerge from the throng of people pushing their way to the beach, I sat up.

  “Oh, thank fuck.”

  Allison turned around. “What? What is it?”

  Michael waved and Clint started jogging for us. I smiled as I stood up, steadying myself on my rollerblades. He picked me up and swung me around, peppering my cheeks with kisses. I smiled as Michael and Allison embraced, watching him dip her back for a deep, passionate kiss.

  Then Clint did the same to me, making me giggle as his tongue slipped across the roof of my mouth.

  It felt so good, having him there. In my arms. Wrapped up in me after so many tense nights together. Things hadn’t gone according to any plan after prom. And it was the little things keeping us all hinged right now. We all knew it, though none of us wanted to talk about it. It was disappointing when Clint announced that, after all the hard work we all put in, he wasn’t going to apply for college. Even with a 2.9 GPA, I knew he stood a chance. Especially with his senior grades showing how he finally applied himself, and how it paid off.

  But, no matter what I said, I couldn't convince him to apply for school.

  Much less for the school I got accepted to.

  “Mmm, I don’t know about you, gorgeous. But I’m ready for ice cream.”

  I giggled. “Why are you so sweaty?”

  Allison snickered. “I take it you haven’t gotten your air fixed yet?”

  Michael scoffed. “Fine. Fine. Blame the terrible traffic on me. It wouldn’t have been that bad in my car had we not been stuck in it for an hour.”

  I furrowed my brow. “What in the world made traffic stop like that? You guys were just at Michael’s right?”

  Clint kissed my forehead. “Doesn’t matter. We’re here now. What would you like to have?”

  Allison and I placed our orders, then the guys headed inside. I sat down, making enough room for Clint as I scooted over. I kept my eyes on him as they walked inside. As they ventured up to the counter. As they ordered our milkshakes. I didn’t want an ice cream cone that would melt all over my hand before I could get the damn thing eaten. I had watched Clint struggle with one too many of them over the course of this summer.

  And yet, he didn’t seem to learn.

  Because he came out with the biggest ice cream cone for himself I’d ever seen.

  “A double fudge brownie milkshake for you,” he said as he handed me my drink.

  “And a massive waffle cone for you, I see.”

  Allison reached for her milkshake. “Thank you, baby. I really appreciate it.”

  Michael kissed her cheek. “Of course. Anything for you.”

  And after watching Michael kiss Allison on the cheek, Clint kissed me on the cheek. Like he was getting his cues from him.

  Like he didn’t know what the hell to do otherwise.

  Michael sat down. “So, what have you girls been getting up to?”

  Clint sat down, too. “Yeah. Any good conversations we should know about?”

  Allison giggled. “You guys never gossip about your conversations. Why should we gossip about ours?”

  Clint smiled broadly. “You owe me twenty bucks, man.”

  Michael rolled his eyes. “Really, Allison? You had to take that approach?”

  I furrowed my brow. “Wait, what just happened?”

  Allison paused. “Did you idiots bet on me again?”

  Michael pulled out his wallet. “I mean, really. I would’ve figured I knew my girlfriend better by this point.”

  Clint snickered. “Your loss is my gain. Pay up.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “You guys have never bet on me before.”

  Michael snickered. “Because you’re completely unpredictable.”

  I cocked my head. “Thanks?”

  Allison murmured, “Yeah, well. I don’t like this at all.”

  Clint took the money from Michael. “Plus, I like you unpredictable. Keeps me on my toes, gorgeous.”

  But, again, he didn’t kiss me until Michael kissed Allison.

  I mean, I loved the fact that Michael and Clint had grown close. I liked the fact that they hung out and had their own inside jokes and were there for one another. Michael had been a good influence on him. Definitely. Plus, Clint’s anger kept itself in check the more time he spent around Michael. Clint hadn’t flown off the handle once since the two of them became connected at the hip.

  But, still. Something didn’t feel right.

  “So who’s looking forward to the road trip?”

  Michael’s voice ripped me from my trance and I took a sip of my milkshake. Leaving room for Allison to butt in.

  “Well, I’m looking forward to it. Two hotel rooms for the weekend? We can celebrate and have a great time while Rae’s doing orientation.”

  Clint slipped his arm around me. “Ready to get the lay of the land, gorgeous?”

  I nodded, but I didn’t stop drinking my milkshake. Which made Michael chuckle.

  “Chug that any quicker and you’re going to get brain freeze.”

  Allison giggled. “Leave her alone. We’ve been sitting here sweating our butts off for almost an hour waiting on you guys.”

  Michael kissed her temple. “I’m sorry we were so late. Had I known traffic was going to be that bad, I would’ve just walked it.”

  Then Clint kissed my temple. And the action was so stunted and empty that Allison furrowed her brow.

  “You okay, Clint?”

  He nodded. “Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. You just seem… off?”

  Michael grinned. “Off like a camera? Or off like a horse?”

  “Wait, huh?”

  Clint and Michael burst out in laughter as I sat there, staring blankly at Allison. Another inside joke. They seemed to have a lot of those.

  Allison snickered. “What--what does off have to do with a--?”

  Michael held his hand up. “Had to be there. Holy shi--hoo! Had to be there.”

  Clint snorted. “Your father’s a fucking mess, you know that?”